I don tire, honestly.
Just this year alone, I don sleep with more than 20 prọstitǔtes. Sometimes e be like say I dey cǔrsed or sweãr for this kind lifestyle.
On January 1st, while people dey church doing crossover and praying, I don already break my New Year resolution. That same night, I had marathon s£x. Person go think say that one go satisfy me — but no, e never enough.
Before then, I try. Throughout the last weeks of December, even on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I hold myself. The urge dey call me strong-strong, but I dey resist am. I tell myself say “this year go different.”
But New Year’s Eve, everything scatter. Since January 1st till now, the relapse don bad. I never rest.
Na brothel to brothel, different joints, daybreak, short time. I don lose plenty weight within just two weeks, yet I no fit stop. E dey feel like say person jazz me. Like reflex — I no even dey think again, e just dey happen.
I know say this thing start from my teenage years, when I first start patronising prostitutes. E turn habit. But now, e don pass normal. Sometimes I dey feel say this thing don get hold of me.
If I know anywhere to go tomorrow for permanent solution — even if na money I go pay — I go go. Last year, I meet one pharmacist, ask if any drug dey to kill sex drive. The response no clear.
I just need help. Help to reprogram my life, my brain — to live like a normal human being with purpose and focus, not just sex and prọstitǔtes.
Sometimes e reach point wey I dey borrow money, collect loans from friends and loan apps just to fund this lifestyle. I no fit allow 2026 pass me by again like this.
Right now, I dey sober. But give me 24 hours, especially tomorrow Sunday — I know myself, I go relapse again.
I really need help.
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